Saturday, July 30, 2005
You could never imagine the pain i feel,
when i start to question what is real......
I have this fear of never being satisfied,
i can't find stable happiness
believe me, i've tried.
Please know it's not easy,
thinking I might live life until i die,wondering if i'll ever be satisfied.
Who else could I blame myself for my decisions?
Sometimes i hate my cynicism, which only results in vacillation,
i get caught in the whirlwind that circulates through my mind.
i take a breath and try to concentrate,
to make sure my emotions don't instigate....
the result being a decision i might regret,
or suffer for down the line,
look at the monster I've created in my mind.
When my heart skips a beat and words pause with hesitation,
it's just my overactive imagination;
that constant fear of the future
and what will happen to me.
i'm uncomfortable having so much emotion
why can't it be more simple,
it's my only,
You.....
not being true to me.
this whole reality seems so incessant
and all this perfection
just makes me hesitant,
just so perfecthow can it be?
that someone so grounded like you
found someone so mixed up like me?
i say these things not just to flatter you.
You know i mean it,
your forever on my mind
I know a girl like you isn't easy to find.
But now I have come to a fork in the road,
Where I must no longer carry that load,
Ease the burden off my shoulders
and try not to leave a scar.
*[[ And they lived happily ever after... ]]* ;
+ 6:38 AM `
